If you haven't read last week's post on principle #3, I suggest you do. Principle #4 is a continuation of principle #3, which is why she begins with "these principles".

Principle #4 is about the will of the child. The goal is to not manipulate the child in any manner because he is a complete person. If we manipulate our children towards virtue, they may end up hating virtue. We cannot have such high standards that our children don't and finally don't care to meet them.

This requires us to maintain our God given authority in balance. Susan Schaeffer Maucaulay says, "Parents should seek, prayerfully, to become worthy leaders with understanding, wisdom, and love," (For the Children's Sake, p. 57).

We must be consistent in our expectations without constantly reminding them. When we do so, we limit the child's ability to choose for himself and therefore weaken his will to choose what is right.

We must be considerate about the child's ability and be willing to train a little bit more.

Just as God respects us and our individuality, we must respect the child's individual's ability and be respectful towards it. Respecting the child doesn't mean that we allow him to do as he pleases. As parents we do bear the final responsibility.

We must never be aggressive. We must demonstrate great self-restraint. I know I have lost my temper multiple times on this. When we fail, it is a good time to demonstrate humility, and ask for forgiveness. If you do mishandle the situation, try to practice or act out a better way to handle the situation as I did the other night.

Remember to ask God for wisdom, and he will give it. We need lots of wisdom and love when parenting our children.

Do you act out a bad situation in a correct way to handle it?

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